When Compensatory Muscles Take Over

I’ve been reflecting on how the body works when one muscle isn’t strong enough to do its job or we don't use proper form. The body doesn’t quit—it recruits other muscles to step in. They weren’t designed for the role, but they do their best to hold things together. Over time, though, those compensatory muscles grow tired and strained, even injured—because they’ve been carrying a load they were never meant to.

We can do the same thing in life.

When we’re faced with stress, grief, or big change, we can default to tools that aren’t healthy or sustainable. It looks like over-functioning, taking on too much, or trying to control outcomes. Other times, we avoid what hurts, or hide behind busyness. These are emotional “compensatory muscles.” They’ve worked overtime for years, doing their best to keep us moving forward. And truthfully, they have served us at times; even helped us survive.

But just like in the body, those overworked muscles eventually wear out. They ache. They protest. And they remind us that something deeper within me still needs attention and strengthening.

Here’s the truth: the ways we’ve coped in the past don’t just disappear. They live in our bodies. Our histories—both the beautiful and the painful—get stored in our nervous system, in our posture, in the very cells that carry us through each day. Left unresolved, those patterns can affect our sleep, our energy, even our physical health.

At She. Fully Alive, we talk about living with strength across all Four Pillars: physical, mental, social, and spiritual health. For me, the deeper work has been learning how to pause instead of pushing through (physical), quieting the anxious voice in my mind with reflection (mental), allowing myself to be supported by community instead of carrying it all alone (social), and trusting vulnerability as an act of sacred presence instead of control (spiritual).

When we begin to address these long-held dysfunctions, something shifts. We find grounding. We’re less reactive to the storms of the world around us because we’ve strengthened what’s inside us. We no longer rely on tired compensatory muscles—we build resilience at the core.

I wonder if you can see this in yourself too. What “muscles” have you been overusing—perfectionism, avoidance, control, people-pleasing? And what deeper strengths might be waiting to be awakened in you?

The invitation is simple but not easy: to stop surviving on compensation and start building wholeness. When we do the deeper work, our bodies, minds, hearts, and spirits no longer just get us by—they carry us into the freedom of living Fully Alive.