top of page

Leveraging Your Lens for Integrated Health

  • Traci Arends
  • 5 days ago
  • 3 min read

How you see yourself, how you want to be seen, and how you choose to see others shapes whole-person well-being.

Have you ever walked away from a conversation frustrated—not by the words exchanged, but by how you were perceived? Maybe you felt unseen, misunderstood, or interpreted through a lens that didn’t match who you truly are.

Or perhaps you’ve had the opposite experience: realizing later that you viewed someone else through a lens colored by stress, fatigue, or past hurt.

These moments remind us of a powerful truth: We don’t just experience life. We interpret it. And our interpretation—the lens we look through—has a profound impact on our mental, physical, social, and spiritual well-being.

At She. Fully Alive., we invite women to explore the three core lenses shaping their lives:

  1. How I see myself

  2. How I want to be seen

  3. How I choose to see others

When these lenses are cloudy, distorted, or ignored, our inner world feels off-balance. But when we tend to them with intention, they become tools for clarity, connection, and integrated health.

ree

1. How I See Myself: The Internal Lens

Our first and most influential lens is shaped by years of lived experience—family messages, cultural expectations, spiritual formation, identity narratives, and unhealed wounds.

When the lens I use to see myself is distorted, I may:

  • minimize my gifts

  • assume I am the problem

  • hide parts of myself to avoid judgment

  • react from insecurity rather than clarity

  • feel like I’m “too much” or “not enough”

But when this lens becomes clearer—through grounded spiritual practices, compassionate self-reflection, supportive relationships, movement, rest, and emotional honesty—I begin to see myself with accuracy and kindness.

A healthy self-lens strengthens:

  • Mental well-being: rewriting outdated narratives.

  • Physical well-being: valuing the body that carries me.

  • Spiritual well-being: noticing the sacred within my story.

  • Social well-being: showing up authentically and openly.

Seeing ourselves clearly is the foundation of integrated health.


2. How I Want to Be Seen: The Relational Lens

Every woman carries a longing: “Please see the real me.”

We want others to understand our intentions, recognize our strengths, and honor our complexity.

But this lens becomes heavy when we carry the pressure of managing others’ perceptions. When this relational lens is misaligned, we may:

  • over-explain

  • people-please

  • silence our true thoughts

  • stay small to avoid conflict

  • feel deflated when misunderstood

Transformation happens when we shift the central question from: “Do they see me the way I want to be seen?” to “Am I showing up in a way that aligns with my truth and values?”

This shift returns us to our center. It grounds us in integrity rather than image.

A healthy relational lens frees us from performing and allows authentic connection to grow—supporting our emotional regulation, nervous system stability, and confidence.


3. How I Choose to See Others: The Generous Lens

One of the most healing choices we can make is to view others through a positive, compassionate, and generous lens. Why? Because the lens we use to see others directly impacts our own inner peace.

When we assume negative motives, jump to conclusions, or brace for judgment, our bodies tighten. Stress rises. Defensiveness grows. Our well-being suffers.

But when we choose a generous lens—one that assumes the best, pauses judgment, and seeks understanding—our nervous system softens. Our capacity for empathy expands. Our relationships become more grounded and less reactive.

A generous lens means:

  • offering grace before criticism

  • considering that someone’s behavior may come from pain, not malice

  • staying curious rather than certain

  • remembering that each person carries a story we may not know

This lens strengthens all four pillars:

Social Well-Being

More trust; less unnecessary conflict.

Mental Well-Being

Reduced rumination; increased emotional regulation.

Spiritual Well-Being

Honoring the sacredness of every human being.

Physical Well-Being

Lower stress response and calmer internal rhythms.

Choosing a generous lens isn't about ignoring harm; it’s about choosing the most life-giving posture available to us.


When All Three Lenses Align

When I see myself with clarity, when I release the pressure to control how others see me, and when I choose a positive lens toward others…

Something shifts inside.

I move with:

  • less reactivity

  • more compassion

  • grounded boundaries

  • emotional steadiness

  • deeper belonging

  • a stronger sense of wholeness

This is integrated health. This is transformation. This is living She. Fully Alive.


A Weekly Reflection: Which Lens Needs Attention?

Choose one of these prompts and spend a day noticing your lens:

1. The Internal Lens

What story am I telling myself today? Is it true? Is it kind?

2. The Relational Lens

Where am I trying to manage perception instead of showing up in alignment with who I am?

3. The Generous Lens

What would shift if I assumed positive intent in my next conversation?

Let your noticing guide your healing. Let your lenses work for you, not against you. And let every shift in perspective become a step toward wholeness.


 
 
bottom of page